Bipolar Imbibe: The Most and Least Expensive Drinks Around Town

In continuing honor of Beer Week, we at Haighteration venture to various neighborhood bars, uncovering, experiencing, and divulging the extremities of their offerings.

Here's Part One.

The Page

Open at 4pm daily, The Page runs their happy hour from open to 7pm, with $1 off all beer and $4.50 well drinks. They stock a combination of your typical stand-bys, like PBR/Olympia/Hamm's (5% ABV, 12 oz. can) for $3, making that a meager $2 during happy hour.

Still, despite the well-priced and varied beer selection, in its bones, The Page is a whiskey bar. On the far left side of the bar, you’ll find a small wooden case which shelters some of the neighborhoods finest whiskeys. Instead of wasting your money on a round-trip to Chattanooga, try the Black Maple Hill Rye (47.5% ABV, shot) for $19. A blend of some of the finest whiskies that side of the Mississippi, we quickly found ourselves convinced to move east, buy a hound, and pen a family recipe. Don't trust us, trust this guy. Check with your bartender for the current contents of the wooden whiskey case.

Toronado

This is a great beer bar. And from 4pm - 7pm every day, that beer gets cheaper, with $1 of all drafts. At the time of our visit, Anchor Steam (4.9% ABV, 16 oz. draft), Radeberger (4.8 ABV, 16 oz. draft), and Hovel's Original (5.5% ABV) were all on tap for $4, or $3 during happy hour.

Yet, the real secrets of Toronado are stored in bottles below bar-level. Among them: the 2011 Deschutes The Abyss (11.0% ABV, 22 oz. bottle) for $30. This dessert-like gem from the Bend-based brewery maintains a perfect 100-point public score on Beer Advocate. Beyond The Abyss, there are many more rare/vintage bottles ready for you, ranging in cost from $4-30 (and beyond). For the insider: on select Wednesday’s, they bring out the finest bottles from the darkest, dampest corners for your enjoyment. Check with your bartender for the most recent bottle list.

Noc Noc

This is also a great beer bar, but too many don’t realize what they’re missing. Just two doors down from Toronado, Noc Noc offers happy hour specials from open (5pm weekdays, 3pm weekends) 'til 7pm, with $1-2 off all drafts. For $3 during happy hour, $5 during regular sadness, you can take back an Anchor Steam (16 oz. draft), Trumer Pils (4.8% ABV, 16 oz. draft), or Racer 5 (7.0% ABV, 16 oz. draft).

While they may not be as well-hidden as other spots (the fridge provides the majority of light in the bar area), Noc Noc reserves a number of rare or vintage bottles. Illuminated within the fridge, we find the 2005 Piraat Ale (10.5% ABV, 1.5L magnum) for $35. Brewed by Brouwerij Van Steenberge, a Belgian mainstay whose history dates back to 1894, this bottle is large, and strong, enough to share with your dads. Check with your bartender for the most recent bottle list and because they’re probably a very nice guy or girl who you can chat with.


Until next time, indulge your inner demons and embrace out the polarities of your local bars, friends, and family. For tips on the most disparate of coincident bar selections, write us — tips [at] haighteration {{dot}} com.

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