On a beautiful and warm Sunday the Castro found itself at ground zero, once again, in the ongoing battle around the City's new legal stance on public nudity. The debate took a decidedly odd, only-in-San-Francisco, twist when the political became porn parody for a hardcore feature film being produced by local SF studio, Naked Sword. Sandwiched between the Girl Scouts plying their addictive wares and a never-ending flow of citizens and tourists unloading  from MUNI subway and pouring up into the neighborhood, about 75 purveyors of porn and the embattled SF Urban Naturist community held a mock/real protest under the watchful eye of the SFPD. Their target: Supervisor Scott Wiener and the City's new anti-nudity law used as a political hot potato plot line in the soon to be released porn titled 'The Cover Up'. Naked Sword, who supports the nudist cause, smartly decided to capitalize on the current political controversy and take the Supervisor, police force and the City to task over the restrictive ban all the while engineering a hot porno. The film's director, Mr. Pam Gaypornmama (not her real name), a longtime Castro resident reached out to members of the nudist community and invited them to take part in an outdoor protest/rally scene shot at Harvey Milk Plaza. "I LOVE nudity!", declared Mr. Pam as she addressed the enthusiastic crowd of actors, extras, protestors and committed nudist. "I live in the Castro-just down the street from Jane Warner Plaza-I see the naked guys every day. I don't understand what the big deal is and it upsets me to see our City is being turned into such a conservative town by people like Scott Wiener. Let's keep the Castro funky!" Armed with a City film permit the faux/real, protest/porn shoot lasted about three hours. Characters in the film like Supervisor Scott Cox (get it?) played by Dale Cooper, Christian Wilde as SFPD Officer Dick, and a variety of nude 'protestors' portrayed by adult film actors, Leo Forte, JD Phoenix, Logan Stevens, and Derrick Hanson all took turns delivering scripted lines and exciting the demonstrators/crowd/extras/background players for various reactions. 'Background', as extras are often referred to in that 'other' film industry, were primarily members of SF's nudist clans, their ardent supporters and porn star stalkers who milled about chanting slogans on command keeping the 'live protest edge' at work in the scene. Gypsy Taub, one of the four Urban Nudist activists who brought suit in Federal court against the City around the constitutionality of the new ban, played herself in the film. She read a prepared nudist manifesto condemning the real life law eradicating certain public nudity over other acceptable situational forms of nudity and the people who concocted it. Mr. Pam is going to include it in the finished product. All in all there were at least twenty people/protestors/actors fully naked during the shoot/protest/event. No arrest were made by the six police present. The filming killed sales for the poor Girl Scouts who were just trying to make a buck and earn merit badges at their booth in front of the now shuttered Diesel store. Their cookies could not compete with all the fine bare booties bouncing about on the sidewalk. Many of the neighborhood's casual observers and Sunday strollers were confused by the event and stopped to either lend support or just gape in wide-eyed wonder. An older woman looking as if she'd just come from Mass at the Castro's Most Holy Redeemer, commented to me as we both oogled some of Naked Swords disrobed well endowed talent, "Hard to complain about naked guys wandering the streets when they're hung like that!" she said with an impish grin. Art imitating life spun through a political churn, spanked with tongue in cheek, San Francisco humor and reshaped into Gay porn. I couldn't help grinning as it seemed, for the day at least, Mr. Pam had succeeded in keeping our little hamlet funky for just a wee bit longer. Only in the Castro folks, only in the Castro. Some pix NSFW. All photos by Waiyde Palmer © 2013