Online Cole Valley Group Erupts Into Bedlam Over Anti-Kid Statements

Online Cole Valley Group Erupts Into Bedlam Over Anti-Kid StatementsModified photo: via Thomas Hawk/Flickr
Rose Garrett
Published on November 05, 2015

We normally don't get too deep into neighborhood gossip, but multiple tipsters have written in to report about an online firestorm centered around our very own Cole Valley neighborhood, its Facebook group, a local business owner, and the perennial issue of kids in restaurants.

The virtual tempest began when Jennifer Bennett, the owner of Zazie and a frequent commenter and moderator on the Cole Valley group's page, posted the following:

This may shock you, but choosing to have children means you can't go out to eat for roughly 3 years. Please. Accept your fate-- you're killing me.

Bennett was apparently dining at Cole Street's Grandeho's Kamekyo when she posted the comment, later adding that it was "like a nursery school" in the restaurant. The response, 118 comments long and counting, details both furious backlash and vehement support of the sentiment, with the online community divided along pro- and anti-child-in-restaurant viewpoints. Bennett later wrote that she had intended to post her initial comment on her personal Facebook page instead.

Tipster Alex wrote in about the incident last night, expressing outrage at the remarks:

You might be interested in some of the scandal that's been going down at Zazie tonight. The owner, Jennifer Bennett shared her true feelings about parents who dine out with children, creating a complete "us and them" tension between parents and non-parents.
The subsequent backlash has been strong, with parents feeling that what she said was cruel and totally inappropriate. Two other parenting groups (Haight St Mamas on facebook and the Golden Gate Mothers group are also expressing outrage, with people promising never to set foot in Zazie again."

"Children (6-12 or so) are my favorite guests. they're so curious!," wrote Bennett, as the backlash got going. "And infants are basically ok as long as their parents know they have to take them outside when the crying starts. But toddlers are satanic and it's exhausting."

While Bennett's original post has garnered 86 "likes," other less-impressed commenters have piled on, calling the remarks discriminatory, ageist, and hurtful, and vowing to stop frequenting Zazie, one of the neighborhood's most popular restaurants.

"Glad that Zazie's true colors have been exposed, so we can take our kids elsewhere, or take them to Zazie when they are particularly cranky," wrote one person. "I'd like to invite anyone put-off by this post to scheme with us on which restaurant to 'terrorize' next," wrote another. "If we all go at once then the kids can just run around and play at every table - right?" "Please don't support Zazies," wrote another. "We as parents have to have unity against discrimination."

Others came to Bennett's defense. "We all love Zazie, y'all. What would we do without Jennifer's amazing restaurant in our hood? Relax, be grateful and please GIVE IT A BREAK," wrote one. "If your kids can't behave out, take responsibility and don't inflict them on others," wrote another. "When dining out in a nice restaurant I look forward to enjoying the atmosphere, service and food. The vitriolic comments are unfortunately consistent with some parents entitled, self-centered and inconsiderate behavior, passionately enabling their overindulged, obnoxious children."

"Oh for God's sake," wrote one of the group's moderators. "The level of people taking themselves too seriously in this thread is truly over the top. Jennifer has been offering Cole Valley dwellers of all ages wonderful dining experiences for longer than I can remember. The whole world is not a bottomless occasion for offense and outrage. Restaurant work is hard and exhausting. Heaven forbid that Jen aired a moment of frustration at not being able to eat her meal in peace."

The discussion also highlighted a debate: to what extent do business owners get to express opinions as individuals?

"When you are a visible and respected figure in our tight community your opinions tend to carry a considerable amount of weight. She just alienated many of the parents on this page by 'venting'," wrote one commenter. Bennett's response:

I would like to believe that I am a resident of CV and a person aside from my job. I wanted to have sushi, and I ended up eating it out of a box at the Muni stop. I was frustrated and tired, and probably shouldn't have posted here, but it's disheartening that all some of you see out of this is 'boycott Zazie.'

While many Cole Valley residents weighed in on the issue, some commenters avoided wading into the muck to take a more self-interested tack: "Does this mean the line at Zazie will be shorter now?