So, this is it — your first 6 to 12 months in Los Angeles and your friends are wanting to visit. Suddenly you have to pretend that you've been living it up in the City of Angels instead of living off Mitsuwa's $4 udon and wondering if there's an inordinate amount of white people with dreads in Venice, or you just keep running into the same potato-faced patchouli nerd over and over again.
Now you're in a scramble. You have to find some places that are fun and cool — most importantly, cool.
Griffith Park?
Nope.
Perch?
Idk, man. Do you want to spend $14 on well whiskey? That's on you. I don't know your life.
Hollywood Boulevard?
Ew. Love yourself.
Be better than tacky tourist destinations, my friend. You made it this far. You've moved to LA, established yourself, got a nice place you may or may not be sharing with two roommates and a stoner who sleeps on your college futon for $200 a month. You're *somebody* now.
That's why I'm here to help you out.
I have compiled a list of 10 cool — but not Bougie, never Bougie — places you can take your out-of-town friends and family. Real locals-only spots. This is my gift to you. Happy Birthday. You're welcome. Drop one taco on the ground in my honor.
Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles
It wouldn't be a trip to Los Angeles without a visit to the scene of Tupac's waffle food fight from "To Live and Die in LA.” Aside from the cultural significance of Roscoe's — the president of these United States ate there once — the food is damn good. The waffles are fluffy and the fried chicken moist. I can't speak to the rest of the items on the menu because, when you go to Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles, you better order the chicken and waffles.
5006 W Pico Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90019
Malibu Seafood
We had this tradition when I was a kid. Every Sunday we'd drive from Park La Brea on the Miracle Mile to Saint Monica's Catholic Church. It doesn't sound like anything to an out-of-towner, but traveling from Wilshire/Fairfax to Santa Monica any day of the week, even Sunday, is an Odyssey — the kind of Odyssey where 10 minutes on Google Maps is actually more like 30 if there's traffic. (There's always traffic).
After mass let out, my parents and I would drive up PCH. We'd listen to the radio, my mom would point out Catalina for me and every couple minutes my dad would point to the cliffs and say, “This is just how the Spanish found Califorrrrrrnia.” We'd always end up at the same blue shack, with the same tacky sign with a waving lobster: Malibu Seafood.
Neslted in Malibu is the best chowder you have ever had this side of the Rockies. Best fish and chips, for that matter. Surrounded entirely by gorgeous California wilderness, you can enjoy chowder in fresh-baked sourdough rolls with breathtaking views of the ocean. Not a bad way to spend a weekend up the coast. Not a bad way at all.
25653 Pacific Coast Hwy, Malibu, malibuseafood.com
I.O. West
At some point during their trip, one of your friends will want to see Hollywood. It's OK. Don't be mad at them. What they know is what they've seen on TV, and you can't smell urine or broken dreams through the television.
We don't have that technology yet, thankfully. But what we do have is a kickass improv theater that also has a bar inside of it. I.O. West sits on Hollywood Boulevard, far enough away from the sweaty off-brand Supermans and Bumblebees. Comedy's best and brightest regularly stop by and, on Saturdays, you can buy a ticket for $10 and watch as many shows as you as your funny bone can take. My pick? The Saturday night Armando. You never know who will show up.
6366 Hollywood Blvd, Los Angeles, locu.com
Patrick’s Roadhouse
Imagine with me, if you will, a magical place. A place founded by a South African immigrant to California made to look like an Irish pub that serves American food and has a plastic raptor on the roof and a stuffed donkey by the front door.
You’d be all, “Dev, that sounds like a place where anything is possible. But it can’t possibly be real, can it?” Well, joke’s on you unbelievers, because I found that place. Less that five minutes up PCH, Patrick’s Roadhouse sits in all it’s lime green glory. A place full of crazy antiques, a place with bring-your-own-Champagne mimosas. A place, most importantly, with Parmesan Truffle Fries and Bacon Grilled Cheese. This is by far my favorite brunch spot in Los Angeles. The food is amazing and the staff is friendly even when you’re so hungover on New Year’s Day that you can barely eek out, “More Diet Coke.”
106 Entrada Dr, Santa Monica, patricksroadhouse.info
George C. Page Museum
Here’s something you might not know: There is a large prehistoric lake of tar that’s been oozing up since humans first inhabited this glorious coastal city.
Alternatively, you might also know it exists from the hilariously-dated 1997 movie “Volcano” that not only references the construction of the Expo Red Line, which, sadly, has not been engulfed in lava, and local celebrity/Venus of Willendorf Angelyne.
Another thing you might not know: There is an active and pretty nice museum that has been in place around the Tar Pits since 1975. The George C. Page Museum is a beautiful example of midcentury Southern California architecture and is famous in it’s own right having appeared in countless movies, photographs and television shows. It makes for a nice day trip for your nearest and dearest architecture buffs and history nerds, not to mention if you get bored you can walk right next door to LACMA and check out their iconic art collections.
5801 Wilshire Blvd, Los Angeles, www.tarpits.org
The Last Bookstore
You know that scene in “Beauty and the Beast” where the Beast just gives Belle her own library?
The Last Bookstore is the closest I have ever come to recreating that. It is part bookstore/part performance space/part art gallery located in downtown’s Historic Core on Fifth and Spring streets. Plan to spend the day exploring the book labyrinth on the second floor or, better yet, visit during the monthly artwalk for special performances and cool local art.
My only tip? Don’t park at the garage on 7th Street and Broadway. I don’t have a great reason, but when my car was broken into there they had the gall to still charge me the daily rate. I mean, that’s rude, right?
453 S Spring St, Los Angeles, lastbookstorela.com
Jet Rag
One. Dollar. Swap. Meet. Sudays.
Make sure to get down to the Melrose thrift store early. That way parking will be easy to find and you won’t have any trouble swiping that geniune leather jacket out from under that fashion blogger planning her next “Ayahuasca Journey Outfit.” Did I mention everything was a dollar?
825 N La Brea Ave, Los Angeles, www.facebook.com/JetRagClothing
Tito’s Tacos
On my wedding day, I expect to enjoy Tito’s Tacos after a “Jurassic Park”-themed ceremony. Upon the birth of my first child, I want to immediately leave the hospital and celebrate with one of Tito’s meat-and-bean burritos. When I die, I want Tito’s at my reception.
Tito’s Tacos has been a fixture of the Westside for years, and a trip to Los Angeles wouldn’t be complete without a visit to the famous taco stand for at least one of the ubiquitous hard-shelled snacks. But, as the famous basic cable jingle goes, “The only thing better than a Tito’s Taco… Is two!”
11222 Washington Pl, Culver City, titostacos.com
Chego!
In a strip mall in Chinatown that’s seen better days, you can find Chef Roy Choi’s delicious fusion baby Chego!
Choi is the same beautiful genius that brought us Kogi, the Korean taco truck. Chego! has the same culinary vision: a delicious fusion of Korean and Mexican street food. While getting to Chinatown during the day is nothing short of an impossible feat, I highly suggest making a point to stop by Chego! at least once during the visit for dinner.
Between the hodge-podge decor, ‘90s West Coast Hip-Hop playlist and OH MY GOD STUPIDLY GOOD FOOD, Chego! is impressive without even the faintest whiff of trying. My suggestion? Go for the Chubby Pork Belly Bowl. Seriously. Do it. Right now. I’ll wait. I have nothing going on today.
727 N Broadway, Los Angeles, eatchego.com
The Original Farmers Market
Now, whenever I tell people I want to go to the Farmer’s Market they’re always like, “Oh, cool, let’s go to the one in Mar Vista/Broadway/Santa Monica…” And I’m like, “No, not a Farmer’s Market. *The* Farmers Market.”
Because if I wanted to go to the Mar Vista farmer’s market and watch some Wes Anderson extra play a banjo and sell me $8 cheese, I’d probably be living a very different life. Probably one with more chard in it. Ugh, chard. But no, I mean the famous Farmers Market on Fairfax and Third streets, located next to what is now The Grove.
And sure, you could go to The Grove and watch former “Laguna Beach” stars take selfies with tourists, but you’re not about that. You’re about good local food, artisanal ice cream and fancy Medjool dates from Palm Springs. Believe me when I say you could easily spend hours inside the Farmer’s Market, leaving only when the high schooler running Bennet’s Ice Cream cuts you off saying something like, I don’t know, “No, Devon, you’ve had too much Chocolate Malted Crunch today. I’m worried about you. Pace yourself.” And you’re all, “You don’t know me, Alex! I’ll come back tomorrow when you’re in school!” Or something like that. I’m just spitballing here.
6333 W 3rd St., Los Angeles, (323) 933-9211
I could go on for days about Los Angeles. I could go on for years, honestly. This is my favorite place in the world, my Pawnee (incidentally, JJ’s diner is actually located in the Valley). The best part about it is that there is always something new to explore or somewhere old to rediscover or, in the case of Traveltown, something creepy to avoid.
We have good food, amazing architecture and locals who, for all their perceived silliness, are genuine and welcoming. All jokes aside, Los Angeles is my home and I sincerely hope you enjoy your stay here.
And, should you ever run into me, I hope you and I can enjoy some Tito’s together and make fun of all the Yoga Moms.
