You have five basic options because we're not counting pedi-cabs. The buses are great but may be confusing for a first time visitor. And for sure take a ferry somewhere. You'll need the Staten Island Ferry to check out Fresh Kills Park and it's worth it on its own merits.
Walking: Fun! Easy! Tiring!
Cabs: Get in the cab first, then tell them where to go. Be polite but this is part of their job and if they didn't want to go out of their way, they should have turned their light off. Of course, if they tell you their shift is over and you've got time to wait for another cab, have a heart. But that's not entirely on you. Tip 20 percent unless they are terrible, but considering how drunk you probably are, tip them 20 percent anyway.
Uber: Everyone who doesn't care about politics loves them. White progressive friends hate them. Black progressive friends are like, "Cabs don't pick me up. What the fuck am I supposed to do?" They're crazy expensive, they're changing the world, you already have the app on your phone and when you need them most, they'll be there for you.
Citi Bike: Utopian vision/moving advertisement for a bank, Citi Bike, is best described in one phrase: "Could have been worse." Yes, it's mainly in rich neighborhoods. Yes, we are drowning in Swedish dads biking on the sidewalk and yes, you'll be riding around on an advertisement for a bank. Conversely, it could be worse. It's a bike sharing system where all the bikes haven't been stolen or vandalized beyond recognition, traffic hasn't been noticeable impacted, and the Swedish dads are unfailingly polite.
Subway: Oh MTA, thorn in our side, joy of our hearts. It runs 24 hours, is reasonably clean and safe, and has THE most badass union in recent memory. Still, when you're five minutes late and the train stalls out for another five, or a line isn't running, you'll hate the MTA with feelings unparalleled. A beautiful object arouses fierce passions. Objectively, the subway is the best. You're in New York City. Go underground and get to know our fair population. Tip the Showtime Dancers, please.
See the complete VICE Guide to New York City.
[Photos via Daniel Arnold]
