Wake County Public School System has never had an official policy for how schools memorialize a student or staff member who dies — until now. A district-drafted proposal now before the school board’s policy committee would formalize what has long been handled informally, setting limits on flowers, donations and graduation tributes while directly addressing the sensitive question of suicide.
The Wake County Policy Committee heard an initial presentation on the plan Thursday, according to citizenportal.ai, which reported that staff introduced the new, district-specific policy on memorials and grief support in hopes of providing consistent, equitable guidance after a death. The district currently relies on internal, unofficial guidance for memorializing students and staff, and the proposal is meant to formalize those rules publicly, according to WRAL. Corliss Thompson-Drew, the district’s director of school psychology, presented the policy to the board’s policy committee, per the same WRAL report.
What the Draft Would Allow — and Prohibit
Under the draft, schools could accept donations collected in honor of someone who died and could set up temporary memorials lasting no more than five days, WRAL reports. At graduation ceremonies, the policy would permit a floral memorial recognizing all deceased members of the school community — but it would not allow funerals on campus, physical memorials or empty chairs left symbolically at graduation, according to the same report.
District leaders told the board the rules are meant to prevent emotion-driven decisions and ensure students are treated equally, per WRAL’s account. The policy also directly addresses concerns about suicidal ideation and contagion, and it would still allow a memorial when a student dies by suicide — while encouraging administrators to exercise extra care in those cases, WRAL reported. The stated goal, per the same report, is reducing reminders of tragedy in spaces meant for learning or celebration.
Board Members Push Back on Suicide Language
Not everyone on the committee is convinced the draft gets that balance right. Some board members felt the language discouraged memorializing students who died by suicide, and school board members more broadly expressed concern about whether the policy ensures equal treatment regardless of how a student died, according to WRAL. Board member Toshiba Rice said the draft appeared to say schools would not discuss suicide at all, per the same report.
Thompson-Drew responded that the policy does not prohibit memorializing a student who died by suicide and that it is not intended to discourage grief, WRAL reported. Rice has personal experience with the issue — she worked with the district last year on how her son could be memorialized and suggested the district formalize a policy after learning no official one existed, according to the same report. Other board members said the district needs to clarify how the policy treats memorials following a suicide.
Committee Delays Action, Seeks More Input
Rather than move the policy forward Tuesday, the committee opted to wait. Lynn Edmonds, who chairs the school board’s policy committee, said the panel needs to bring the policy back for further review, per WRAL. The board first heard a presentation on a memorials policy in June and had suggested the district gather more community feedback before Tuesday’s meeting, WRAL noted. The district said it consulted outside groups, including the Wake County PTA Council, before bringing the revised policy back this week — and citizenportal.ai reported separately that staff indicated the policy will be revised again after broader stakeholder input, though neither report specifies what that process will look like or when it might conclude.
Why School Districts Are Formalizing These Rules
Wake County is not alone in grappling with how to handle these moments. On average, two Wake County students die by suicide each year, according to the district’s own suicide-prevention page. Seventh-, ninth- and 12th-grade students in Wake County receive suicide-signs training through healthful living classes, CBS 17 has reported — a story that also detailed a Rolesville Middle School parent’s account that the school refused to discuss her son’s suicide or share warning signs with other parents. In 2022, Wendell Middle School dismissed students early after an eighth-grade student died on campus by suicide, according to The News & Observer.
David Schonfeld, director of the National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles, consults with schools on responding to student loss and told WRAL that a clear policy can spare schools from emotionally difficult negotiations with grieving families in the moment. He said such guidelines help ensure students are treated similarly regardless of how popular they were perceived to be, and can prevent crisis-handling problems down the road, per the same report. His center’s own guidance states its recommendations are designed to help administrators, teachers and crisis teams respond to students’ and staff’s needs after a loss, according to the National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement.
National experts generally caution that publicity around a suicide can further affect people who are already struggling with depression, and that schools should stick to factual, non-speculative communication rather than anything that could glorify a death. Separate guidance from ASCD notes that a suicide can heighten the risk of self-destructive behavior among students suffering from depression, and that returning to normal classes and routines within a few days is usually advised.
How Other Districts Have Handled the Same Question
Wake County’s debate echoes policies already in place elsewhere. Milford High School requires a parent or guardian to formally request that a deceased student be recognized at graduation, with the student’s name printed in the program and read aloud, according to the school’s own published procedure. Milford’s policy states plainly that all student deaths should be recognized equally regardless of cause, but it does not permit empty chairs or other symbolic displays, reasoning that such gestures could unintentionally glorify suicide and raise contagion risk.
The National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement’s own graduation guidance recommends including every student and staff member who died during a class’s time together, regardless of whether the cause was an accident, illness or suicide, with names read aloud — possibly followed by a moment of silence — rather than singled out with a special tribute. The same guidance suggests a shared yearbook page listing all deceased community members in place of a standalone memorial section, an approach that mirrors some of what Wake County’s draft proposes with its graduation floral tribute for all who have died.
For now, Wake County’s policy remains in draft form, with the policy committee planning to revisit it after more community input. How the final language will address board members’ concerns about equal treatment after a suicide — and when the full board might act on it — remains unresolved.
