Just when you thought Silicon Valley would never dare try the same failed magic-trick again, meet Billy Evans, faithful partner of Theranos founder and current prison resident Elizabeth Holmes, who, according to NPR, is launching a new startup that sounds eerily familiar. The venture is called Haemanthus, and — pause for dramatic effect — this time it comes powered by Al and, in the words of Doctor Evil from Austin Powers, "friggin' lasers beams."
Theranos crash-landed so hard that Holmes got banned from running public companies for ten years and landed in jail, but here we are again. This time, Evans is touting “light detection” to guide AI for medical tests—as if everyone forgot the last light-based medical “innovation.” Holmes, banned but clearly not gone, reportedly offers advice for Haemanthus from the comfort of her cell—because who better for business tips than a convicted fraudster?
Haemanthus’s “revolutionary” technology is based on Raman spectroscopy, which actually does have uses—like detecting IEDs, per NPR—but forgive the skepticism about its sudden leap to “diagnosing ALS and cancer.” If you’re looking to invest, just know Evans is raising cash mostly from his inner circle, with plans to target pet diagnostics first—because pets don’t ask questions or file lawsuits, as suggested in investor materials reviewed by The New York Times.
Haemanthus apparently anticipates the barrage of Theranos jokes, as they posted on social media, “Yes, our CEO, Billy Evans, is Elizabeth Holmes' partner. Skepticism is rational. We must clear a higher bar,” as NPR captured. Good luck with that bar—it might be under several feet of regulatory rubble.
Even leaders in diagnostics are sounding the alarm: Pharmaceutical CEO Howard Urnovitz, PhD, didn’t mince words in a recent LinkedIn post, “Who knew grifting was sexually transmitted?… The inseminator of the world’s most infamous diagnostic fraudster is now raising tens of millions for a new diagnostics company, promising ‘health optimization,’ ‘deep learning,’ and ‘tunable lasers.’ And just like its spiritual predecessor, it’s starting with pets, because they don’t ask questions, and they don’t have lawyers.” Burn.
Is Haemanthus about to unleash a biotech revolution, or is it just Theranos dressed in a different turtleneck sweater vest? Silicon Valley’s nostalgia for catastrophic business plans seems alive and well—let’s see if this time the story ends with a different punchline.
