San Antonio Spins into a Freewheel Frenzy, World Naked Bike Ride to Bare it All in the Alamo City

San Antonio Spins into a Freewheel Frenzy, World Naked Bike Ride to Bare it All in the Alamo CitySource:
Susan O'Brien
Published on November 27, 2023

Hold onto your helmets, San Antonio—the city might just be getting a whole lot cheekier next summer. In a city known more for its historical landmarks than its cheeky, nontraditional events, San Antonio could soon play host to the World Naked Bike Ride (WNBR), an international "clothing-optional" cycling event that has people buzzing and blushing in equal measure. According to the ticketing website SimpleTix, thrill-seekers could join the bare-all brigade—and potentially among thousands—between June 15 and 30, 2024, at the Hyatt Regency Hill Country Resort and Spa, though the hotel’s lips are sealed tighter than a cyclist’s shorts, as management has yet to pedal out a comment.

Gird your loins, or rather don't, because WNBR isn’t just about nudity; it’s riding high on some serious messages—protesting against fossil fuels, promoting body positivity, and broadcasting the soft flesh vulnerability of bikers in the concrete jungle of urban settings, as stated on the event's official website. "Due to legal restrictions full frontal nudity is at your own risk, but many participants do go all out," said the event registration on SimpleTix.

But for any naysayers flashing their eyebrows at the legality of this au naturel assembly, yes, Texas does have a law against indecent exposure. San Antonio even goes a buttock further with local ordinances that aim to cover up everything from "human genitals" to "any portion of the female breast that is situated below a point immediately above the (nipple)", as Express News reports. Will that stop the skin-on-the-saddle spectacle? History rides in the nude’s favor, with event organizers claiming police encounters but no arrests since Houston's inaugural birthday-suit bike ride in 2011. Yep, it’s not the first rodeo for Texas, folks.

The San Antonio Police Department has been mum—silenter than a bike thief on the lam—when it comes to commenting on potential legal ramifications for any daring derrière displays. Meanwhile, the true crux of the event gears toward advocacy for more robust bike infrastructure. If you care to dive into the details, more than 600 bicycle accidents were recorded in 2022 and 2023, according to a query on Texas’ Crash Records Information System. Accident statistics aside, participants are encouraged to "ride safe" and get vaccinated—the only shots taken should be the preventative kind, not tequila, as cited from the San Antonio event page.

As for the ride details, they're under wraps tighter than a spandex unitard. Much like the mysteriously routed Portland’s Naked Bike Ride, San Antonio’s ride map remains a well-kept secret. Maybe it's to keep the rubberneckers at bay or simply to add an element of surprise—like waiting to see what Mother Nature and human nature have in store that evening. "The event is bare-as-you-dare; anything from body paint to underwear to fanciful costumes are encouraged," reminds the event registration, ensuring that while the dress code might be minimal, the spirit is anything but. So, San Antonians, come next June; whether you're a cyclist or a sightseer, you'd better brace for a spectacle that's guaranteed to add a little extra color (and flesh) to those famed Texas sunsets.