Danielle and Michael Otlin stood on Baker Beach this month holding candles for their son Jude, who was delivered stillborn in 2019. They joined other San Francisco families at Wave of Light, an annual gathering where parents honor and remember babies they have lost.
The Otlins lost Jude, who was delivered stillborn, and also experienced two miscarriages, according to CBS News. Jude was delivered on November 23, 2019, at 6:16 p.m., according to a GoFundMe page the family later created. A donated Cuddle Cot bassinet allowed Jude's parents to spend five and a half days with him before saying goodbye, the fundraiser notes. Michael Otlin went on to organize that fundraiser to purchase a Cuddle Cot for a local hospital that did not already have one.
Danielle Otlin said the ceremony celebrates the babies the families lost. The couple now has four children — Stevie, Jude, Buddy and Iris — and Danielle said the family feels lucky and does not take it for granted, per the same CBS San Francisco account. Iris, the Otlins' daughter born after a loss, was named after the Greek goddess of the rainbow, a figure Greek mythology describes as connecting heaven and earth. Rainbow babies, as children born after loss are often called, symbolize hope after the storm.
A Foundation Born From Loss
Wave of Light was organized by La'Zette Smith, who founded the LaSaaun Lives Foundation after his son, LaSaaun, was stillborn in 2020. Smith said many families do not talk about the painful grief of infant loss, and he created the gathering so Wave of Light could offer families a place to talk about grief, honor their children, and find comfort, the CBS report states.
The foundation, created in loving memory of LaSaaun Jarell Tyiska Smith, says it supports families before, during and beyond birth, with special care for those navigating pregnancy and infant loss, according to its website, waveoflightsanfrancisco.com. Its mission integrates maternal wellness, father engagement, bereavement support, family resources, community education and stillbirth-prevention advocacy, the site says. The San Francisco event is free and open to all.
The Numbers Behind the Grief
At least one in 10 known pregnancies ends in miscarriage, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, which also notes that early pregnancy loss — the loss of a pregnancy before 13 completed weeks — occurs in about 10 of every 100 known pregnancies. The organization says about half of early miscarriages happen when the embryo does not develop properly.
Roughly one in every 175 births ends in stillbirth, and about 21,000 babies are stillborn in the United States each year, according to figures attributed to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, as noted by The TEARS Foundation, which hosts its own National Wave of Light candle-lighting ceremony each October 15 at the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool in Washington, D.C., with families and supporters across time zones lighting candles together at 7 p.m.
Similar Gatherings Beyond San Francisco
Baker Beach's ceremony joins a nationwide pattern of Wave of Light remembrances during the awareness month. In Wichita, Bridget's Cradles hosted its own annual Wave of Light event, which included a candlelight remembrance and a hope walk through a path illuminated by roughly 50,000 lights, according to KWCH. That event, like San Francisco's, was open to any family in the community that has experienced miscarriage, stillbirth or infant loss, along with broader community supporters.
Other 2026 gatherings included one listed by No Footprint Too Small at Creekside Barn at Roca Berry Farm on October 15. For the Otlins and the families who stood beside them on Baker Beach, the evening offered what Smith built the foundation to provide: a place to say a child's name out loud and be met with understanding rather than silence.
